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DIAGNOSIS MURDER
Soul Surviving Son
Written By: Stephanie Samantha Lynn Sapp
Edited By: Hope Elizabeth VanAtta
Myranda Leigh Rose Butcher
Christina Marie Gagen
Kathryn Marie Schrappe
Carolyn R. Beckett
Denise Amber Luremen
Sabrina Sylvester
Wendy Haper
When one of the gang dies the rest must cope with the loss, no
matter how hard it is to accept it.
Copyright @ December 11th,2000-December 26,2000
Chapter One
It was a sunny morning in Malibu, Californa. Steve was doing his
normal activity, taking a nice morning jog on the beach, he
smelled the air deep into his lungs, he loved living on the
beach, he loved living with his father, most of all he loved his
life and everything around him, Steve was as happy as he had ever
been. His job was nice, well as nice as it could be when you were
a homicide detective, he was still single, but that didn't bother
him, his father was healthy and working long hours at the
hosptial, Jesse and Steve had been camping two weeks ago and
enjoied each other for a while. Amanda was married again and
happy. Steve smiled to himself as he slowly made his way to his
house. He lived in a beach house with his father, he liked the
arrangement, because he only had to pay rent sometimes, and that
was when his father felt like his son wasn't doing enough around
the house, but that wasn't known to happen very often. Steve
walked into the house and went to pour himself a cup of coffee,
but found none.
"That's strange," Steve said to himself. He looked
around, nothing was ready, infact the house showed no signs of
Mark even being up yet.
"Dad, are you up yet?" Steve called, but he got no
answer, walking up stairs to his father's bedroom he saw his
father laying on his stomach sleeping, or so Steve thought. Steve
was perplexed, his father never slept in, excpet on his days off,
and even then it wasn't normal. He walked over to his father and
shook his shoulder.
"Dad wake up," Steve said, but he got no reaction,
Steve began to worry, trying to keep himself calm Steve rolled
his father over onto his back, thats when he figured out his
father was not breathing. Steve tried to remain as calm as he
could but something hit him.
"Dad, please don't play games with me, dad!" Steve
picked up the phone and dialed 911, once he was finshed Steve
began CPR, somewhere inside Steve knew it was useless he had lost
his beloved father, but Steve refused to admit it.
"Dad please," Tears were trailing down his cheeks, it
wasn't long before the EMT's showed up, Steve knew he couldn't
drive in this shape so he rode with the peramedicas. When he got
there he was met by Jesse Travis, a good friend of both Steve and
Mark.
"Steve what happened?" Jesse asked as they wheeled Mark
past the two men.
"I don't know, I came back from my morning jog, and he
wasn't awake, something happened Jesse, I wasn't there to help
him. Please save my dad," Jesse nodded and joined the EMTs
in truma two. Amanda was paged shortly after they brought the
unresponsive Mark Sloan in, She now sat next to Steve, rubbing
his back as he attempted to keep his composure together.
Meanwhile Jesse was trying to save Mark, but he couldn't.
"Charge 550, Clear!" Yelled Jesse, they kept trying.
"Jess, he's gone," a nurse said.
"I said Clear!" Jesse snapped, a friend of both Jesse
and Mark came in, he was also a doctor.
"Jess, he's gone, call it or I will," the man said,
Jesse looked down at the lifeless form of Mark Sloan, his second
father. He couldn't help it anymore, he broke down into sobs.
"I can't, someone else call it," Jesse said as he
walked out into the waiting room, Amanda resopened by getting up,
Steve looked up and saw the tear tracks on Jesse's face.
"Jesse?" Amanda inquired.
"I'm sorry Steve, we lost him, I did my best," Jesse
said, the three friends were speechless, Steve, who had gotten up
sat right back down in a chair, and burried his face in his
hands.
"It's my fult, I shouldn't have left his alone this morning,
I flet something werid about this morning, life was to great to
be true," Steve's voice was barely audible, Amanda knelt
down in front of him, she too was now crying.
"No Steve, don't blame yourslef, it's not your fult. You
couldn't have known, theres no way you could have known he would
die, you go out every morning to take a nice run, it could have
happened to any of us, don't blame yourself," she knew it
wasn't Steve's fult, Jesse knew it too, they all loved Mark like
a father, Steve because he was his father, Jesse because he cared
about him and Amanda because he was nice to her.
"I can't believe he's gone. I have to get everything
done," Steve said getting up, Amanda and Jesse both caught
how shaky Steve was looking, he had turned ashen white, he looked
like he had just aged 20 years in 20 minutes.
"No Steve, sit down, please, first off someone should call
Carol, and your uncle, second off maybe you should go see him,
would that make you feel better?" Asked Amanda.
"I don't know if I can," whispered Steve. Jesse took
his friend's hand then Amanda did the same.
"We'll all go, together, thats how we will get though this
together," Jesse said trying to stay calm and together for
his two best friends, it was tearing up each one of them inside,
but someone had to be strong. The slowly walked to the once busy
truma room, it seemed so empty.
Chapter Two
Jesse looked at the body, he also wasn't sure if he could do
this, it was Amanda's turn to be strong for the two men who were
more like brothers then friends.
"Together we will get through this, I promise," They
slowly walked up to the body, no not body, to Mark. Steve
unlatched his hands from his friends and walked to his father,
his eyes looked at his father, the lifeless form of the man whom
had rasied him, his mentor, his dad.
"Why God? Why dad? Take me, do anything to me you want, but
please don't take my father away from me, I beg of you,"
Steve pleaded, He looked into the face of his father. No more
than 24 hours ago those big blue eyes were smiling and laughing
as Steve talked of what had happened the day before at work.
Steve didn't even bother to hold the tears back anymore, he bent
his head down and set an ear to the chest, still not believing
his beloved father was gone. But there was nothing, no sound at
all. Steve ran a hand over his father's face and hands, he picked
up the limp hand.
"Dad, Please come back, don't leave me, I need you. Theres
so many time we still have to share, my life, our life. Please
don't go dad,please don't go," Steve kissed his father's
forehead then turned and found the comforting arms of Amanda
around him as he sobbed.
"We'll get through this," Amanda whispered.
"Goodbye my friend, You were so much like a father to me,
you were such a great doctor and man. Say Hi to Kathrine for
us," Jesse to turned and looked at Amanda, She let go of
Steve slowly and walked up to her good friend.
"We lost a good one today," She too kissed Mark's
forehead and joined the other two as the walked out leaning on
each other for support. They walked to Mark's office, Steve sat
in the now forever vacant chair that once belonged to his dad, he
opened a drawer and found a small black leather book that held
the phone numbers of everyone Steve would need to call. He wished
more than anything his mother was still alive.
"Who all should we call?" Asked Jesse, Steve slowly
looked through the book and found three names that he hadn't seen
for a long time.
"Amanda you call this number, tell her who it is why your
calling and that she should come as soon as she can, Jesse you
call Norman at this number, do the same thing, I'll call this
person," They nodded and all headed to diffrent phones.
Steve dialed his old friends number, it rang five times then a
gruff voice said hello.
"Jack?" Steve asked.
"Yeah. Who is this?"
"It's me, Steve,"
"Steve. How are you?" inquired Jack.
"Not so good man," Steve confessed. It had been 15
years since he had last seen Jack.
"Oh no, what happened?"
"Dad died this morning," Steve did his best not to cry
over the phone, he could hear Jack give a deep and heavy sigh.
"I'll be on the next flight out, tell Amanda I'm really
sorry," with that Jack hung up.
"Delores it's me Amanda."
"Amanda, hi."
"Delores, I'm not calling to chat, Mark died last night, and
we, Steve and I were hoping you would come and well you know,
just be here," Amanda heard Delores sniffile.
"I'll be there as soon as I can, you give Steve a hug for
me," Amanda said goodbye and hung up.
"Norman, how are you?" Asked Jesse.
"I'm good, may I inquire the purpose of this call?"
"Yes Norman, I have some bad news," He heard a sharp
breath.
"Steve?"
"No, Mark died earlier this morning," Another sharp
breath, and a slight sigh.
"Okay, I'll get there as soon as I can, meanwhile I give my
condolences."
Chapter Three
After calling everyone the three friends sat down in the doctor's
lounge and each became quiet, they were all remember times,
Jesse, was thinking about the first time he had met Mark. Amanda
was thinking about the time when she had lost a corpse and Mark
couldn't help but laugh slightly at the thought that his son
wouldn't allow her to do the autospy. It had been Mark's 65th
birthday. Steve was thinking about the Christmas after the death
of his mother. He wasn't ready to go through all that again. Just
then Jack came bursting through the door.
"If you go by Contential you get here really fast,"
Jack said, Steve was up in a flash hugging his old friend. Jack
didn't turn the hug down, he held Steve until he felt he was
done, then it was Amanda's turn.
"Shh, it's going to be okay, We'll all get through
this," Jack said, Steve smiled slightly thinking about the
time when Jack had said he was proud to call Mark friend and
father, but he would get back at him for being what he was then.
In away Jack had done just that by leaving.
"How did he die?" Jack asked, he couldn't help but
think of pain for Mark as he left this world.
"Right now we think the cause of death was a heart attack,
but we're not sure, looks like it was that or old age,"
explained Amanda.
"Can I see him?" asked Jack, Steve nodded and the two
left to go see the man they both considered father.
The next two days went by quickly, Steve sat at the desk in his
father's house, his younger sister and five friends around him,
in his hands was the envlope that contained Mark's will, steve
feared opening it, if he did it ment his father was really gone
and that Steve would have to face that if he didn't then it ment
that there was still chance his father was alive, but Steve knew
the truth,Mark was gone. Steve opened the envloped, he looked up
at his sister and friends and his father's attorney, they only
nodded. Steve removed the piece of paper from it's small pouch,
He looked at it.
"Read it big brother," Carol was afraid of what it
would say, she, much like her brother didn't want to believe it
was true, her father was dead.
"It only says watch my tape," Steve looked up at Jones,
who held up a tape and soon they were all sitting around the TV
watching in anticapation.
Mark appeared on the screen.
"Boy am I glad I decied to do this while Steve is away at
the cop function in New York, he would bug me about this, let me
begin with, you know why your all here, and watching this. I've
passed on, first off I would like to say to my daughter, Carol
don't give up faith, someday we will see each other again, I love
you so very much sweetheart, you will always be my baby girl.
Steven, oh my Steven, restless and always moving Steven, I wish I
could ease your pain son, I love you very much, dearly, you are
my son. Don't shut everyone else out son, allow them in, let them
help you through this. I love you so very much son, I want you to
take the beach house, all the money I have in the bank is for
you, you sister was given hers along time ago, you always said
you wanted to protect your inhertaince, well you've done an
excelent job son. Do what your good at keep fighting, and when
things get tough I'll be there to watch over you, just like I
always have. I love you very much Steven. Jack, I hope to God
Steve called
you first, my sorrgute child, Jack, I love you like a son, I know
how much you love water, more than Steve, I've left my boat for
you, I know what your thinking what boat, ask Steve a little
later, he'll tell you all about it, meanwhile please stay with
him, he's going to need you. You know how you always said you'd
get even for me making you who you are today, well I can't tell
you how proud I am of all of you. Amanda, my beautiful Amanda,
take care of my Godsons. I love you Amanda, your sweet. Watch
over Steve, he loves you like a little sister. Jesse, another one
of my sourrget sons. Your a wonderful doctor and a great person,
take care of yourself. You always know who your friends are.
Norman and Delores, my good old friends, you've known me longer
than my children have, I hope I will be missed, I love you both
so very much. Oh one last thing, Steve, my son it's okay to cry,
people to need to let out emotions sometimes. Remember that. I
love you all," with that the tape ended. Steve couln't stay
any longer, he slowly made his way down to his apartment.
"I'll talk to him," Carol said stopping Amanda, Jack,
Jesse, Norman and Delores. Carol walked down the stairs, it was
weird, nothing seemed normal anymore, nothing seemed like it
would ever work again. She loved her father dearly, but unlike
Steve she wasn't very close to him, she had been much closer to
her mother, and when she had died it tore Carol apart. She walked
into his bedroom, she saw him sitting on the bed holding a
picture of him and Mark that had been taken from a camping trip
awhile back.
"How did it happen?" asked Carol, Steve's eyes never
left the picture.
"Heart attack. I wasn't there for him when he needed me
Carol, what if he cried out in pain and I wasn't here, he
could've died thinking I left him. What if he thinks I don't love
him. Carol I can't do this," Steve said, Carol sighed and
sat next to him, she put a loving arm around his waist.
"I know you and daddy were close, probably closer than me
and mom. I could never have had the relationship you two had, you
had so much respect for each other, and so very much love. You
and dad had so much, so many things to say to each other that
didn't need to be said because of how close you were, I'm sure
dad died knowing how much love and respect you had for him. Steve
you shouldn't doubt that. Dad loved you so very much, to him you
were his little boy to protect and care for. He couldn't have
loved anyone more, I remember mom telling him that he loved you
more than he loved her. She knew it was ture in some cases. Dad
always had a smile ready for you, he was always ready to risk it
all for his baby boy. Steve no matter what don't forget how much
dad did love you. Remember we're all here for you, all of us will
help you through this, I promise."
"He was always ready to sit down and talk with me about my
problems, it was always that way, nothing ever came before me,
not ever work, he risked his job a few times for me. Dad always
wanted the best for me no matter what it ment, I remember being
in surgery once when I was younger, my tonsils had to come out,
dad came in and explained the whole thing to me then he held my
hand through the operaration. He was always ready to whisper
reassuring calm loving words in my ear, which I was ready to
hear, he was never slow to give me hugs," explained Steve as
he again looked at the picture. Carol rubbed his back.
"I remember one time when I was told that I would be
parlized from the waist down that dad took everything in stride,
he was ready to help me, he spent hours helping my rehabltion, he
jumped in the pool next to me and held my hands, he helped me get
use to using my legs again, and it took a long time, 5 years to
get my legs back to full recovery but with his and Jesse's help
they fixed me right up. I went by to work after 4. He told me he
would stop the world just to make me happy."
"Well thats just how dad was. He slow to anger, quick to
forgiveness, and faster to love. He loved you Steve."
Chapter Four
Steve held tightly to Amanda's hand as 20 some million people sat
in the crowd. Steve watched the 20 men stand next to the grave.
This was a burial just for his dad.
"Steven, would you come up and say something," called
the minstiar. Steve walked around the 20 men holding guns up in
the air.
"My dad, man I never thought this would come. I loved my dad
so much. He always said he would stop the world for my sister and
I. My dad was a doctor, he was a big help to the cops, thats why
we have these men standing here, but most of all my dad was a
husband and father. My mom died when I was 15 leaving my dad to
raise me and my little sister. Which made it hard for him, my
sister and I had a very strained realtionship, we wish it could
have been better, it's better now, but my dad and my sister
didn't get along while she was growing up. When I came back from
Nam my dad took me into his house and helped me, he never had to
do that, but he did because he was a loving father. My dad was a
good man, ask any of his friends. He was always willing to give
to charity, or help someone just by talking, my dad was a good
talker. Got me to do a whole slue of things by talking to me. In
honor of my father, and of my mother we are burring Mark Sloan by
Kathrine Sloan and are having a policemen cermony. Dad if you can
h
ear me, we miss you. I love you, Goodbye my friend, my
father," With that Steve saluted and watched as the 20
police officers shot into the air, a tear slid down his face.
There was a small reception afterwards. Steve talked for a while
then made an excuse that he had work tomorrow and went down
stairs. Steve sat on his bed, he looked at a picture on his
dresser, he opened the top drawer and pulled out his 9mm bretta,
opening it he check for bullets, finding three he spun the barrel
and clicked it into place, he held the gun to his head. But then
as if the eyes in the picture of his father looked at him Steve
took the gun down, he set it aside and slowly fell asleep.
Amanda was talking to Jesse around 9 the next morning when they
got onto the subject of Steve.
"You don't think he's going to kill himself do you
Amanda?" Asked Jesse.
"Why would he?"
"Because he was really close to his dad, Amanda, we all know
how close those two were, they were inseprable."
"Yeah, I know. I don't think he will, at least I hope
not," Amanda was worried about Steve, he hadn't eaten since
his father's death.
Steve walked into the genral store and walked back to the
casement where he found a bottle of achoal. Taking it up fornt he
bought it and drove home. Steve was in to much pain o relize he
was already in danger. But it was coming.
Chapter Five
Two weeks later, Jesse, Amanda and Jack entered the house.
"Do you guys smell that?" Asked Jack, Amanda took a
large wiff.
"Acohal?" Asked Amanda. In her mind all she could see
was Steve drinking and lossing more and more wait. Steve had lost
more than 70 pounds in the last four weeks. He was skinny and
termpermental. He reeked of booze, he wasn't shaving, just by
looking at him you could tell he wasn't sleeping.
"I'm worried about Steve," Amanda said looking around
the house that she had considered her home for a long time,
bottles were all over the place, paper. Suddenly Amanda's eye
caught on a small white bottle.
"Oh God please no," Amanda ran over to it and read the
label, confirming her worst fear.
"Jesse Call 911, Steve could be in trouble," Amanda
said running down to Steve's aparment, then she ran right up to
Mark's room knowing where he friend was, there she found Steve,
pale, unconcuiss, and barely breathing.
"CALL 911, hurry, Steve's in trouble." Amanda had never
known Steve to be a quiter, the thought of Steve attempting
sucied scared her, he was usually happy. It took five hours, but
Jesse was final able to save Steve. Jesse walked out into the
waiting room crying for the second time in a month, but this time
out of happieness.
"How is he Jesse?" asked Carol.
"He's going to make it. He's sleeping right now, Carol your
brother tired to kill himself, someone needs to talk to
him," Jesse explained, Amanda was crying, Jack wasn't sure
what to say, Steve had usually been happy when Jack had been
around, This was all happening so fast.
"I'll talk to him," volunteered Jack, he walked into
Steve's room, who was awake. Steve saw Jack and looked down.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" Demanded Jack,
Steve looked up at him.
"You don't know what's its like, not having a father
anymore! You weren't here, you didn't see how close we've
become!" Steve yelled.
"Oh bull Steve, I knew how close you and Mark were long
before I left, don't give me that. I know you loved him, do you
honestly think he would want this for his child, I mean come on
Steve get a grip, your dad is dead, but your not! You've got a
beautiful sister out there who could help you if you'd only let
her in, you've got friends Steve, a lot of great friends who
could and would help you if they only knew how to get in. Why are
you doing this to them, why are you doing this to yourself, why
are you doing this to your dad. He was your dad, fine, but that
does not mean your life is over! Steve you have always been there
for everyone when they really needed you, let us be here for you
now, what makes you think we don't miss him too, we all miss him,
Mark Sloan was the best damn doctor and man I've ever known, he's
gone now, but he left two legecys behind, his handsome, loving,
happy young vibrant son, and his wonderful caring daughter. Wake
up Steve, I'm not sure what to say about you anymore, your not
the
man I use to know and love, your not the Steve Sloan that would
get down on his knees with me and his father to play a game of
hoops in his office, your not the man who would drop everything
just because Amanda needed your help, your not the same man that
saved Amanda from Eddie Gualt, your not the same man that would
fight me for a beautiful girl only to have your dad take her away
to a concert on Secratary's day, what happened to you Steve, I
like the old Steve Sloan better, the one who moved in with his
father just so he could protect him, the one that let me get
involved in his cases only to say I was annoying," Jack
walked out of the room with that, he left Steve to think about
what his life had become, Jack was right, he had done all those
things, and a lot more, just then Jesse walked in, he looked at
his friend.
"Almost the second funral I would have to mourn at. Steve
what the hell is wrong with you, your not thinking about Carol,
me, Jack, Amanda or anyone eles, your thinking about yourself,
well guess what its time to grow up and open your eyes, you've
got people who need you," with that Jesse headed to the
door.
"Jess wait," Jesse turned towards him and walked up to
him.
"Who are you, what have you done with my brother."
"Jesse please, don't go, your brother is right here, it just
took someone like my friends to beat the love you had for me into
my brain. Look Jesse I'm sorry, your right, I did only think of
myself, the pain I was having, I didn't think about how you and
Amanda and Jack felt, he was like a father to you guys too,"
Steve said tears in his eyes, a lump in his throat.
"You haven't been to your dad's grave since the funral have
you?" Steve shook his head no.
"You'll be out of here in a few days we'll go then,"
Jesse said, Steve nodded and pulled Jesse into a hug.
"Thanks for loving me bro," Steve said.
"Your welcome big brother," with that Jesse left,
knowing his best friend would make a complete recovery.
Steve stood next to the grave, he looked down at the granit head
stone.
HERE LIES
MARK SLOAN
DOCTOR AND BELOVED FATHER
Decmeber 13,1925-July 10,2005
A tear slid down his cheek, his father was really gone forever.
EPOLIUGE
"NO Please!" yelled Steve, he suddenly sat up in a cold
sweat, he looked around, he was in his own bed, which was soaked
with sweat, the sound of footsteps on the stairs brought his head
snapping up to look at who was coming down the stairs.
"Steve, are you okay?" Mark asked looking at his son,
Steve jumped out of the bed and ran to his father's arms, he
hugged him tighter than he ever had before, Mark wrapped his arms
around his son as an instinct.
"Son, are you alright?" he asked.
"I am now," Steve said.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Mark asked.
"Not right now, right now just hold me dad please,"
begged Steve, Mark had no intention of letting his son go until
the young man was ready.
"I love you dad," Steve whispered.
"I love you too Steve, always and forever."
THE END
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